I haven’t posted in two years. It seems like yesterday I had Amy Winehouse blasting while staring at the sun on 724 A E Wright Street. So much life has happened in 2 years. Currently, I am in Honolulu, Hawaii. I am in my final week of a 6 1/2 month stint of being a Records Manager/Archivist for the DOI. They’ve put me up quite nicely at the Aston Executive Center in the heart of downtown. It’s a nice break from the bunkhouse and heavy crowds that year-round tourism brings to Waikiki. It’s 730pm and I’m starving. I can’t decide what I want to eat. Perhaps I’ll give the mango chicken wings from Fresh Cafe another try. Although, I swore them off after I placed a call in order last week and when I arrived they were ice-cold. Booo. I have a Aloha Pineapple Smoothie from Jamba Juice, 3 Wildblue Blueberry Beers, Peanut Butter from Wholefoods, Apple Jelly, Wheat Bread, Roasted Pine Nut Hummus, and Carrots in the fridge…. I’m sure somewhere in that mix, I can piece together a decent meal.
My mood is peaceful. My solitude, this solitude was/is much needed. It’s allowed me time to make snow angels of my thoughts. I’m not sure what that means, but it gives you a visual of how i’ve been dealing with my reflections. Earlier in the evening I sat in the tub and Facetimed Shardé. She clowned me about coming home from work and taking a bubble bath. For the record, I didnt have bubbles! She listened to me vent about work. We talked about the absurdity of Billboard leaving Tupac off it’s Top 10 Best Rappers of All Time List. In the great debate of hip-hop, I’m a Pac fan and she’s a Biggie Fan. All in all, we both agreed he should be on the list. Then we sat in silence a bit. I got pruney and she was visibly sleepy, so I let her go. I drained the water and showered. I put on J.Coles Rise Above. I love that song. I stood directly under the shower head, for my sanity I need that baptismal feeling each and every time. This time next week I’ll be a on 9 hour flight home. I will not miss this 5 hour time difference between Honolulu and Milwaukee. I look forward to being closer to Shardé. She’s absolutely my favorite hue of yellow.
So Life. I’m still a nomad. New places and adventures still excite me. My life still has meaning. That’s important. Everyday I beat myself up for not writing, more. I initially said to myself I’d start back writing for the New Year, as a resolution of sorts, but there’s no time like the present. So here I am. Listening to TREEHOME 95 on repeat, and writing. It feels good. I am still learning about myself. Curiosity of self is important. If you don’t find you interesting, who will? I still miss my mom.I STILL NEED MY MOM. That feeling won’t ever go away. I still make my voice sweet like candy when I’m talkin’ to my Granny. I still am in love with music, and poetry, and art, and sunflowers, and books, and people watching. James Baldwin is still my idol, and Jimi Hendrix is still beautiful to me. I’m still striving to be a revolutionary and less reactionary, because Assata say’s so. I’m still pure in my intent. I am still a minimalist. I am still writing the clockwatchers. I promise to finish within the next few months.
SO, what’s new? I’m learning to be less stubborn and more open with with my feelings. I’m investing more time in loving those people who love me. I am more attentive to the spoken an unspoken needs of friends and loved ones. I apologize more, and am putting forth effort to shut down less. My family has expanded. I have a puppy, and a partner who loves the Boston Celtics as much as me. I have a niece who is cute as Stevie Wonder music. I’m practicing patience. I’m learning to speak with love. I’m enjoying living one day at a time. I’m reading more (I’m almost done with Nigger by Dick Gregory, great read). I’m trusting 300% in my creativity. I am believing of and in a higher power that I cannot see or feel. I am vowing to live and love organically and responsibly, while I still have life to live…..I’m still me, and that’s alright[.]
-JCNI
Jes, The Nomadic 